Narwhal

Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as a narwhal. In fact, a truly bizarre toy company has actually come out with the Avenging Narwhal Play Set, which allows you to spear toy penguins and toy versions of other cold-loving critters on the tusk of a toy narwhal. Penguin lovers should think carefully before clicking on the link. Hat to Jonah Goldberg (who else?).